Shutting your partner out in a relationship is not new. Many partners who are in fear of getting vulnerable often avoid getting attached to a relationship for several reasons. Nowadays, more and more people in modern-day relationships have complained about the rising commitment issues.
A childhood trauma to fear of abandonment, there are so many reasons why people avoid getting attached to their partner in a relationship. No one wants to commit to the other person for a long-term relationship. Therapists have now become very concerned as the act of pushing people away in a relationship can reveal a lot of things.
People who have been hurt mentally or even physically in a relationship can take time to open up and share their feelings. The ache of a failed relationship can change a person completely. A failed relationship can make them rely on themselves to process every feeling. To rely on another person can make them look like they are weak.
Intense emotions can even overwhelm a person. People can find it hard to handle all these emotions at once. Unmet needs during childhood and bad experiences can make a person not crave for deeper connections.
Fear of Being Vulnerable
A person can choose not to share things just because they assume that the other person will ridicule or criticize them. They can shut themselves completely. This is one reason why a person can run away from the emotional warmth of a relationship. Nobody wants to feel vulnerable in front of someone. A person who has been hurt in the past is too concerned about their vulnerability, and that’s how they think. They tend to build walls. They like keeping people at a distance always.
Unmet Needs
Parents and caregivers might unknowingly leave a child’s needs unmet. A person who suffers from unmet childhood needs can find it extremely difficult to trust another person. That’s one more reason why a person fails to share their needs in a relationship. Unresponsive and distant parents can make a person emotionally distant.
Being Needful: A Sign of Weakness
A person who has learned to fend for themselves their entire lives are already emotionally independent and strong. They can see starting a relationship as a sign of weakness due to being too needful. Such people always want to keep others at the surface level. They run away from forming any kind of deep relationships. They believe intimacy in relationships won’t satisfy them and make them lose their sense of self.
Emotional Shutdown
Intense emotions can make a person want to withdraw from a relationship due to a fear of abandonment. Instead of addressing their emotions a person can start refraining from communication and do a complete emotional shutdown. They believe excess intense emotions might be hard to handle. They lack the essential skills necessary to express their emotions in a healthy way. They would know all the healthy words but find it discomforting to express them.